Pirates of the Caribbean 7 and a Half: The Vortex
by Astarte-Darkstar
Summary: Two friends are forced to take in Will, Elizabeth and Jack, and show them how to live in the 21st Century. COMPLETE!
1. The Vortex

**Disclaimer: I dont own POTC, despitemy constant nagging of Disney!**

* * *

Sarabeth glared at her friend. It was eight in the morning and she was awake and she was bored. Carline usually didn't wake up until around ten o'clock. She had finished her book was looking for something else too do.

Slowly she began to wiggle her fingers; before she knew it she had begun to hand jive. Sure it was random but she literally had nothing better to do.

Suddenly between her hands a blue swirly-thing appeared. Sarabeth took one look at it and immediately knew what it was. "Hey! I made a vortex," she announced proudly to no one in particular. "Hey wait…"

The vortex spun out of control and Sarabeth backed away from it nervously. As if pushed three people fell out of the vortex and the strange phenomenon had disappeared as quickly as it had come.

Sarabeth took one look at the strange people that had appeared in the tiny room and backed over to where Carline was sleeping. Sarabeth leaned over and shook Carline as hard as she could.

"'Smatter," asked Carline groggily. "If the house isn't on fire, I don't care."

Sarabeth could only squeak. The people had recovered and two of them were pointing swords at her throat and the third was cowering behind them.

Carline looked from Sarabeth to the newcomers, and then tuned angrily to her friend. "What did you DO?"


	2. Poptarts, Clothes and Cars

**Disclaimer: I dont own PotC**

* * *

Half an hour later the five of them were sitting in a circle on the floor of Carline's room discussing what had happened. According to the newcomers they had been going about their daily lives when they had all had the sensation of someone pushing them and had looked up to find themselves here. There names were Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, and Capitan Jack Sparrow.

Carline and Sarabeth were handling it fairly well considering that three pirates had managed to jump through time, space, and dimensions to crash land in a teenage girl's room.

"I hate you," Carline announced to Sarabeth,

Sarabeth looked at her friend, "I'm sorry. But you know if you didn't sleep in so late, I wouldn't have been bored and thus wouldn't have hand jived."

"A hand jive shouldn't create a vortex!" insisted Carline.

"But it did," Sarabeth observed.

Carline punched Sarabeth in the arm and looked at the others. "Listen, I have no idea how to get you home and until I have a plan you're going to have to stay here."

"As long as you have rum I figure we'll get through," Jack said.

"Don't worry my parents have some in their liquor cabinet," Sarabeth answered.

Carline looked at her clock and sighed, "You know if we don't get food in about five minutes we're going to have my parents come busting in here trying to figure out what's wrong."

Sarabeth untangled herself from where she was sitting and grinned down at the people. "Pop-tarts coming up," She sang and headed out the door.

Carline looked around the circle, and sighed again. "You know we'll have to get you some new clothes, you cant walk around in those."

"What's wrong with our clothes?" Elizabeth asked indignantly.

"Well nothing if you want to look like total losers," Carline shot back.

"She's right Elizabeth," Will said. "Clothing has obviously changed a lot since our time and we'll stick out if we go anywhere in these."

"Here Elizabeth put these on," she said handing the other woman a pair of jeans and a baby doll tee bearing a picture of butterflies. "Hang on I'll go raid Oliver's closet and see if I can find anything for you two."

"Nothing with fluttery insects on it," Jack said. "I have a reputation to uphold."

"I'll keep that in mind while looking through my quarterback older brothers clothing," Carline answered her voice dripping with sarcasm before heading out the door.

Sarabeth walked in as Carline left when she saw the pile of clothes next to Elizabeth she pointed out the door. "Bathroom's the first door on the right," she said as she handed the pastry packages to Will and Jack.

Elizabeth went out to get dressed and Carline slipped back into the room carrying two pairs of jeans and two shirts one blue and one red. "Alright who wants what," she asked holding them up.

"Red," Jack said and Will merely shrugged settling the matter.

Carline looked at Sarabeth and smiled, as she handed out the clothes. She then plopped down next to her friend and grabbed a bag of the pop tarts for herself.

Sarabeth reached in to her pocket and held up a note, "Oh yeah Carline your mom left this for you."

"Did you read it?" Carline asked as she took the note.

"NO!" Sarabeth answered hotly then paused for a moment, "Okay yes I did. Your parents are out antiquing and won't be back for a few hours, we have permission to go where we will."

Jack looked at Sarabeth and smiled a bit, "I like you. You're quite Pirate-y."

"Thank you," said Sarabeth smiling back at Jack. "Your head has beads on it."

Elizabeth chose that moment to enter and break up the mutual admiration society. Sarabeth tossed a pastry package to Elizabeth who looked at it quizzically.

Will stood and placed a kiss on his fiancé's cheek before heading off to change.

Jack finally opened his breakfast and looked at it with disgust. He cautiously lifted it and sniffed the toaster treats.

"They aren't poisoned," Carline pointed out.

"I'm not sure they're edible, eatable, able to be eaten," Jack responded.

"There fine," Sarabeth answered as she tore a piece of hers off and bit into it.

Jack nibbled at a corner of one of his own and broke into a coughing fit. "It's disgusting," Jack announced when he had caught his breath.

"You didn't eat the filling or the icing," Carline answered unimpressed.

"Oh," said Jack taking a larger bite. "Hey this is really good," Jack announced in a muffled voice spraying the girls with crumbs.

Elizabeth took a dainty bite of her own meal and smiled at the two, "very delicious, thank you so much."

Will returned and sat next to Elizabeth. Jack stood and went to change his clothes, but not before giving the girls a suggestive wink.

Will picked up his own package and began to read it for no other reason than he wanted to know what he was about to eat. "Pop-Tarts toaster pastries…"

Sarabeth giggled suddenly and looked at Will, "Sorry, but, did you know you say pastries funny."

"No I don't."

"Yeah you do. Say 'Pastries' Will."

Will was saved having to answer by Jack's return.

"I must say, I look good," Jack announced not much of his appearance had changed he was still covered in his usual stuff, only what was under them had changed.

"You aren't going out with all that on," Carline announced bluntly.

"Listen lass," Jack said. "These are my effects; they stay on my person at all times. Savvy?"

"I don't care!" Carline answered. "If you go out with a gun or a sword you will be arrested!"

"ARRESTED! Just what sort of place is this, how is anyone safe anymore?"

Sarabeth jumped up and stood between the two. "Calm down, both of you. Here Jack, put your effects or whatever in this," she announced holding up a tattered red book bag.

"It's not quite the same is it," Jack pointed out.

"I know. But I don't want to have to try and explain to the cops that I made a vortex by hand jiving and brought three pirates from another dimension into this one. They'll commit me."

"What does that mean?" Will asked.

"They'll think she's crazy and lock her up," Carline explained. "And probably do the same to us."

"I see exactly how this could be a problem," Jack answered and took the book bag.

Sarabeth mouthed 'thank you' at Jack and collapsed back onto the bed.

Carline poked her friend in the side, "None of that! We need to get them some clothes before Oliver notice's his are missing."

"Mall?" asked Sarabeth.

"Yes, mall where else would we get these people clothes?"

Elizabeth frowned, "What's a mall."

Sarabeth and Carline gasped. "Right get in the car," Sarabeth instructed.

"What's a car?" Will asked.

The girls gasped again. "They don't know about anything," Carline whispered.

Sarabeth stood and beckoned for everyone to follow her. She led them into the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door. She pointed to her silver Kia and said, "Car. Get in."

"Are you sure about this," Carline asked as she opened the back door of the car and let the three of them file in.

"Clothes first, culture later," Sarabeth answered firmly.

Carline sighed and got into the front seat. She began to explain getting buckled while Sarabeth chose what CD to listen to, she finally settled on Josh Groban deciding it would begin to ease them into a new style of music.

Sarabeth turned the keys in the ignition and the engine roared to life, behind her Elizabeth screamed and threw herself into Will's arms.

"What is that?" Will shouted.

"It's the engine," Carline answered.

"So what exactly does this car do?" Jack asked.

"It takes us places," Carline answered.

"So it's like a ship?"

"No," said Sarabeth as she put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb. "It's like a car." She adjusted her mirror, pressed play on the CD player and smiled reassuringly at Elizabeth. "Don't worry we'll be there in a jiff."


	3. Music and Malls

**Disclaimer: I dont own PotC**

* * *

Sarabeth pulled the car into the parking lot of the mall and killed the engine. She let the last notes of the song fade away before she turned off the CD player as well and swiveling to look at the backseat.

Elizabeth and Will were still sitting there arms clasped tightly around each other, similar looks of horror were spread across their faces. Jack seemed more intrigued than scared by this new marvel.

"How's it work?" he asked.

"Well I don't really know the technical aspect of it," Sarabeth answered as she popped the hood and gestured the rest out of the car. She swung in front of the car and pulled the hood the rest of the way up displaying the engine, "But this is why it runs."

"What is it?" Will queried loosening his grip on Elizabeth slightly.

"It's an engine," Carline said, "a 500 horse power, 6 cylinder, piece of machinery that moves cars and other things."

"What do 500 horsepower and 6 cylinder mean?" asked Elizabeth.

Carline looked up and frowned, "I don't know." She turned and looked at Sarabeth hoping for enlightenment.

Sarabeth shrugged, "Don't look at me I just drive the thing."

Elizabeth leaned closer to the engine and frowned, "How did you fit all the musicians in there."

"What?" Carline asked.

"The music we heard on our way here," Elizabeth insisted, "who was playing it?"

"You mean the CD?" asked Sarabeth as if it were obvious.

Carline smacked her friend on the arm, "They don't know what CD's are!"

"Oh yeah," Sarabeth said as she rubbed her arm. "A CD is a recording of music. A while back some one came up with a way of recording music so that any one could play it when they wanted to hear it rather than having to wait for a concert."

"So the music we heard was played at a different time and place and them packaged and sent here," Elizabeth asked trying to clarify.

"Pretty much," Carline answered.

"Extraordinary," Elizabeth whispered.

"Right," Sarabeth said as she shut the hood of the car and began to walk toward the building, "What's the plan?"

"Go in, get the stuff, leave," Carline answered.

"If we split up it'll be faster," Sarabeth pointed out.

"You're right," Carline sighed as she pushed open the doors to the mall, "I'll take Will and Elizabeth and you try and keep Jack under control."

"See you at the food court in an hour?" Sarabeth asked.

Carline laughed, "If we make it that far."

Sarabeth laughed too and grabbed Jack by the arm. "You're with me," she announced pulling him off in one direction.

"Is it a good idea to let those two go alone together," Will asked. "Jack can be trouble."

"So can Sarabeth," Carline responded, briefly she wondered what she may have unleashed on the world, then decided she didn't care. She then looked at Will and Elizabeth for a moment trying to decide where to take them to get clothes. "GAP," She announced more to herself than anything else.

Will looked around, "Where?"

Carline sighed, "It's a store. I'm going to get your clothes there. Come on." She gestured toward the escalator.

"What is that," Elizabeth asked when she saw the device.

"An escalator," Carline explained. "It's like stairs except that you don't have to walk." She stepped on and started to go down beckoning for the others to do the same.

Will stepped onto the escalator and Elizabeth leapt into his arms. When they reached the bottom, despite Carline's constant coaching to 'just step off', Will and Elizabeth both managed to almost fall when the steps went back under the floor.

Carline helped them to their feet and laughed. "I told you to step off," she pointed out.

"You didn't say when," shot Elizabeth.

"I kind of figured that you'd know that I meant when you got to the bottom," Carline answered.

Rather than witness a fight Will pointed toward a store. "Is that it?"

Carline turned and glanced at the store, "Yep that's it. Come one." She lead the way into the store and smiled at the people inside before turning back to Will and Elizabeth. "Right one pair of jeans and two tee-shirts a piece, I'll try not to max out the debit card."

"What's a debit card?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's something that allows me to pay for stuff without having to carry around cash," Carline answered as she began to sift through the shirts for something Elizabeth could wear.

Elizabeth picked up a pair of dark blue jeans, and looked at them. "Do you think these will work?"

"I don't know," Carline said as she pushed a light blue top away deciding it wasn't quite Elizabeth's style. "Go try them on; the dressing room is right through there. I'll bring you some shirts when I find them. Same with you Will, Grab some jeans and I'll get the shirts."

Will picked up a pair of faded jeans and followed Elizabeth toward the dressing rooms.

After a few minutes Carline picked out one honey colored shirt and one light purple one for Elizabeth. After another few moments she found a blue and green striped polo shirt and a dark brown tee-shirt for Will.

When they had finally gotten everything to fit and had bought all the clothes their hour was almost over. Carline looked at her watch and started to hurry the pirates toward the food court. Suddenly she stopped and looked at a small booth. "Are either of you hungry?"

"Well I am a little hungry," Elizabeth said.

"Me as well," Will answered.

Carline grinned, "Great! Follow me." She dashed over to the booth and smiled at the vendor. "Three medium chocolate Dippin' Dots please." She paid the man and handed the cups to Will and Elizabeth.

"What is it," Will asked looking down at the brown pellets in front of him.

"Dippin' dots," Carline explained handing out spoons. "The ice cream of the future, try it."

Elizabeth stared at the treat and sighed; slowly she lifted the spoon to her lips and took a bite. "This is really good," she announced.

Will took a bite of the Dippin' Dots. "Excellent," he agreed.

"Told you so," Carline laughed. "Come on we better head for the food court, Sarabeth and Jack should be there by now."

* * *

Sarabeth pulled Jack away from Carline, Will, and Elizabeth. And toward the only store that could possibly make Jack Sparrow look like Jack Sparrow. When they finally stopped they were in front of a store that looked like it opened into a black hole, the music playing over the loud system was a song Sarabeth instantly recognized as 'Love Said No' by the band HIM; Jack obviously didn't know what to think of the store.

"What's this luv?" Jack asked.

"It's Hot Topic," Sarabeth explained. "This is where we're going to buy your clothes."

Jack looked at the store, then at Sarabeth, then back to the store.

"It's the only place in the mall to buy pirate-y stuff," Sarabeth insisted.

Jack smiled, "Well why didn't you say so."

Sarabeth led Jack into the store and went to the far wall to look at pants for the pirate captain. She finally settled on a pair with red skulls on the sides and chains hanging down the back. She turned to Jack and tossed the pants to him.

"Will they fit?" Jack demanded.

"One size fits all," Sarabeth answered.

"Fair enough," Jack said.

Sarabeth went toward the wall of shirts she looked at them for a moment then turned to Jack. "You don't strike me as the most hygienic of people so I'm only going to buy you one shirt. Pick one."

It took Jack only a moment to find one he liked and he pulled it off the shelf. "This one."

Sarabeth looked at the black shirt that proclaimed 'Kiss me I'm a Pirate.' She fought back a laugh and looked Jack in the eye, "That shirt is for girls."

Jack looked at the shirt and said only one word, "Damn."

Sarabeth giggled into her hand and began to look for something else for Jack to wear. She scanned the wall and saw one that immediately made her think of Jack. It was black and the words 'don't slap me' were displayed across the front, she handed the shirt to Jack.

Jack looked at the shirt and smiled at Sarabeth, "It's as if you know me lass."

Sarabeth rolled her eyes, "I'm not sure that's a good thing."

Jack shrugged. Together they made their purchases and left the store. Sarabeth looked at her watch.

"We've got about fifteen minutes," Sarabeth announced. "You hungry?"

"A bit," admitted Jack.

"Come on," Sarabeth announced as she pulled him toward the food court. "We'll grab some Taco Bell and then wait for them in the food court."

"What's Taco Bell?" asked Jack.

Sarabeth tried to spin around mid-stride, lost control of her left arm, and fell to the ground. When she had recovered she began to drag Jack toward the food court mumbling something about bloody pirates.

When they reached their destination Sarabeth practically threw Jack into a chair. "Don't move," she said. "I'll be right back."

She rushed over to the Taco Bell and bought two quesadilla's and returned to the table. She smiled at Jack and handed him one of the packages, Jack took it and looked at the meal inside. Carefully he tore off a piece of the food and ate it, and then turned to Sarabeth, "How do you always know the best foods?"

Sarabeth smiled, "The perks of living in this exciting new dimension."

Carline walked over with Will and Elizabeth, who were finishing off their Dippin' Dots, in tow. "Wow," Carline exclaimed, "Not only are you on time Sarabeth, but you actually beat me."

"Quick someone record the time and date," Sarabeth replied sarcastically.

"So are we ready to go?" Carline asked.

"Yep," Sarabeth answered as she crumbled up the package her quesadilla had come in and shoot a three pointer into a near by trash can.

"So now what?" Carline questioned stepping to the side to avoid her friend's projectiles.

"Now it's time for culture," Sarabeth answered as she headed for the doors. "However we can't be expected to be able to teach them that much culture in one afternoon, so I have a better plan."

"Let u not forget that last time you had a 'better plan' I woke up covered in green paint and in a ditch outside of town," Carline pointed out as she pushed the doors open and followed Sarabeth toward her car.

Sarabeth smiled as she unlocked the car and gestured everyone in, "But this time it really is a better plan."

* * *

**AN: I'm going on vacation and wont be back for a while. There will bemore chaps when I return.**


	4. Movies, Moms, and Curses

**Disclaimer: I dont own PotC**

Carline looked at the building Sarabeth had just pulled up in front of. "I think your plan sucks," she announced bluntly.

Sarabeth sighed and pulled herself out of the car and walked toward the Blockbuster pretending she hadn't heard.

"Honestly," Carline announced jumping out of the car and gesturing for the pirates to follow her. "Is this how you plan to show these people our culture?"

"You got a better way to do it?" Sarabeth demanded finally turning around to look at her friend. "Is there another way that you can think of to introduce a culture as different as ours is from theirs in one afternoon. Besides I'm only getting one movie."

"Which one," demanded Carline.

"It's a surprise," Sarabeth answered and pushed open the door of the movie store. She immediately dashed off in search of what she was after leaving Carline to try and watch the pirates.

Will leaned over and whispered to Carline, "What's a movie?"

Carline sighed, "A movie is, put very simply a bunch of moving pictures that tell a story."

Elizabeth looked amazed, "Can you really do that?"

"Yeah," Carline mumbled going over to a rack of movies to see if anything caught her eye.

"How," Jack demanded.

"I don't know," Carline answered, "but it just works."

Sarabeth jumped out from behind a rack of movies and grinned, "Are we ready to go?"

"Yeah," Carline said looking away from a copy of 'Memoirs of a Geisha.'

"Great," Sarabeth laughed. "Here's the keys I'll be out in a few seconds."

Carline looked at the case Sarabeth was holding and tried to read the title.

Sarabeth quickly shoved the box behind her back and simply repeated, "It's a secret!"

"Fine," Carline shot good naturedly as she snatched the keys from her friend and pulled the pirates out the door.

Sarabeth swung open the door to the car moments later and dropped the bag with the movies between the seats.

As Sarabeth pulled out of the parking lot Carline finally got to look at the movie. "You've got to be kidding."

"It's culture," Sarabeth said not looking away from the road.

Carline shook her head, "'Rocky Horror Picture Show' is not culture it's cult."

"Same difference."

"It's not the same, damn it!"

Elizabeth gasped audibly from the backseat and looked from Carline to Sarabeth, neither one said anything. Finally she got tired of waiting, "Well!"

"Well what?" Carline asked without turning around.

Elizabeth glared, "Aren't you going to apologize for using such strong language?"

A wicked grin spread across Sarabeth's face, "Shit."

Carline caught on instantly, "Bitch."

The girls looked at each other and said the next word together, "Fuck."

Elizabeth was about to faint, she had never heard such language. Will was angry that anyone could do that without any remorse. Jack was simply impressed.

"Sorry Elizabeth," Sarabeth giggled. "It's just that curseing is sort of part of our daily lives. The truth is no mater what happens we're gonna swear a little just be happy we don't cuss every other word."

Elizabeth was still skeptical, "When did swearing become the norm?"

"Sometime during the seventies I think," Carline answered as the car pulled up in front of Sarabeth's house.

Everyone pilled out of the car and went to the door, Sarabeth struggled with the keys for a moment before suddenly slaming the door open. "I'm home," she yelled, "Oh yeah, no one is ever here."

Carline threw herself on to the couch. "Bring me water," she shouted at Sarabeth.

Jack did likewise, "Bring me rum!"

"Demands, always demands," Sarabeth shouted back. "I cant handle this kind of pressure!" She collapsed in the hallway.

"Are you alright?" Will asked leaning over the girl.

"I'm fine," She answered, "I've just sort of lost the will to stand."

"Rum!" persisted Jack.

"Fine!" Sarabeth shot back as she pulled herself up and stormed into another room.

Carline laughed and gestured for Will and Elizabeth to sit. They finally settled on the love seat.

Sarabeth poked her head into the family room and asked, "Do either of you want anything? I've got Pepsi, Frescia, and water."

"Pepsi?" Will asked

"Frescia?" Elizabeth repeated.

"Coming right up," Sarabeth said disappearing again.

Will looked at Carline, "I just wanted to know what it was."

"Just drink it," Carline advised, "It'll be fine."

Sarabeth came back with four glasses and a bottle. She handed them out and sat down on the floor.

Carline turned to her, "Start the movie."

Sarabeth jumped back to her feet and put in the first movie.

"The men were dressed as women," Will mumbled.

Carline smiled, "It can only get weirder from here on in."

Elizabeth finally looked away from the screen, "It can get weirder?"

Sarabeth giggled, "Oh yeah."

"Thank God for rum," Jack mumbled taking a swig.

"The plant was singing," Jack announced.

Sarabeth laughed, "Rocks doesn't it?"

"That was so violent," Elizabeth whispered.

"You'll get used to it," Carline observed.

"Really?" Will asked.

"I liked the blue fish," Elizabeth said.

Carline smiled, "She's my favorite too."

"That was so different from the other movies," Will said

"Would you like something more like the others?" Sarabeth asked.

"I would," Jack said.

Sarabeth finally stopped laughing and wiped her eyes, "Best movie ever!"

"The vulgarity," whispered Elizabeth.

"The singing," Will mumbled.

"The crappy animation," Jack said.

Carline looked at her friend, "My turn to pick a movie, I'll pick a good one."

Carline gave a very audible sniff, "I love that movie. It's so romantic,"

"Why did that one girl look like Elizabeth," Will asked.

"She didn't," Sarabeth assured him, "you just think she did."

"I'm fairly certain you're lying," Elizabeth anounced.

Any further discussion was cut off by the door to Sarabeth's house swinging open and her mother walking in.

"Sarabeth you didn't tell me we were having company."

"I'm not going to lie to you mom," Sarabeth answered. "These are pirates from another dimension."

"Sarabeth!" Carline yelped

"What she was grilling me!"

"Are you on drugs?" Sarabeth's mother asked

"No," replied Sarabeth.

"Well just as long as you're not high," Sarabeth's mother smiled then disappeared into another room.

Will looked at Carline, "Are all parents that insensitive here."

"No," Carline answered, "some are much worse."

**I'm back everyone! No I wasnt on vacation that long. School started up again and I had writers block. I'll give kudos to whoever can guess the "culture" movies, I think I made it fairly obvious and a list will be appearing with the next Chapter. Ta!**

**P.S. the underlined stuff is page breaks, sorry if it's confuseing**


	5. Pizza, Ferrets, and Energy Drinks

**Disclaimer: I dont own Pirates **

* * *

"I'm hungry," Sarabeth whined.

Carline rolled her eyes, "So make some food and quit complaining."

Sarabeth shifted onto her stomach and groaned, "I don't want to, that means I'd have to move!"

Now thoroughly irritated with her friend Carline kicked the phone toward her friend's head, "So order a pizza!"

"You are a genius."

"I know."

"What's pizza?" Eizabeth asked.

"Uh, only the best food in the history of ever," Sarabeth answered as she dialed the number of the pizza place from memory.

"I want cheese," Carline called.

"You'll get it," Sarabeth snapped as she went into the next room to order the pizza.

Jack looked at the bottle in his hand, "It's almost empty."

"You keep drinking and we'll keep ignoring you ," Carline said as she put a disk of Gilmore Girls into the DVD player. "It's a good plan, don't mess it up."

Will looked at the girl and frowned, "Is everyone in this dimension this sarcastic?"

"No, some people are much worse."

"Pizza's on it's way," Sarabeth announced as she came back into the room.

"I'm almost out of rum," Jack pointed out trying to make someone listen to him.

"Well I don't have anymore here," Sarabeth snapped then smiled slightly. "But if you want to come with me we can go get something better."

"Better than rum," Jack asked eyes sparkling.

Sarabeth's grin now had a slightly crazed look to it. "Much better," she promised.

Jack jumped to his feet ready to go and Sarabeth reached for her shoes.

Carline looked back and forth between the two trying to figure out what was happening. "So who's going to pay for the pizza?"

"There's 25$ on the table in the hall," Sarabeth announced as she pulled her jacket on and headed out the door.

Carline nodded then smiled, "Hey don't get dead."

"Got it!"

Forty five minutes later Elizabeth, Will, and Carline were sitting on the floor looking at the pizza boxes and waiting for Sarabeth and Jack.

"What was she going after," Will grumbled, "wine from Paris?"

"With her it's quite possible," Carline sighed. "Once we went out for a loaf of bread and wound up three states over with a flat tire."

"I'm certain they'll be back soon," Elizabeth said obviously not all that confident.

However a few moments later, despite all probability, Jack and Sarabeth walked through the door with a brown paper bag.

"What did you get," Carline asked half curious half dreading the answer.

Sarabeth smiled and began naming off items as she pulled them out of the bag. "Tea for Elizabeth, a Pepsi for Will, and for the only person in the world willing to put up with me one huge mocha Frapucinno."

Carline took the bottle and looked at her friend, "You are forgiven, and for you and Jack?"

Sarabeth's grin widened scarily as she pulled out two large black cans from the bag.

"What are those?" Will asked.

"Energy drinks," Carline whispered faintly.

"So they give you extra energy," Elizabeth questioned.

Carline ignored the query and glared at Sarabeth, "You want to give Jack of all people an energy drink!?!?!?!?!"

Sarabeth pretended to think for a moment. "Yes, I figure it'll be easier to explain someone who's hyped up on caffeine than someone who's drunk if my mom suddenly decides to give a crap."

Carline blinked, "Energy drinks," she repeated in the same tone of voice.

"Don't worry," Sarabeth assured her, "I've got a master plan in case he gets out of hand."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Sarabeth smiled and opened her drink, "Let's eat!"

Carline opened one of the pizza boxes and looked inside, "This isn't cheese."

"Then this one is," Sarabeth said shoving the second pizza box at her friend and pulling the first one toward herself.

Jack reached into the box in front of Sarabeth and helped himself to a slice of pepperoni pizza. Will and Elizabeth both took a slice of cheese.

Jack tried a bite of the pizza and turned to the girls, "You two always know what's good." He opened the can and took a drink, "this is really good."

Carline glared at Sarabeth who only insisted, "Master plan."

"I must admit that the food here is is quite different from ours," Elizabeth said as she daintily wiped her mouth.

"Not bad just different," Will observed as he took a slice of pepperoni for his second piece. "I almost think I could learn to live here."

Carline smiled, "I'm glad to hear it but we are going to try and get you home."

Sarabeth turned to Carline, "Says who? I kind of like them here, Jack what do you think?"

Jack jerked his head around, "I don't know I feel like something's missing." Carline noted with worry that Jack was only halfway done and Jack already seemed twitchier than usual.

Elizabeth looked at Jack and frowned, "Don't you like it here?"

"Of course he doesn't," Sarabeth answered, "If we're going to be completely honest I don't particularly like him being here."

"A moment ago you didn't want us to leave," Will pointed out.

"I lied," Sarabeth answered smoothly, "I lied, I lie a lot, I'm going to hell."

Jack was now three-quarters of the way through his drink and starting to tap his fingers against his leg and his eyes were starting to dart rapidly around the room.

Elizabeth was shocked, "How can you say those sorts of things?"

"Well mostly because they're true," Sarabeth replied.

Will frowned at the girl, "And you know this how?"

"Our friend told her," Carline said, "he's god."

"You're friends with god," Will repeated.

Sarabeth smiled, "If you stick around you might be able to meet him."

Elizabeth frowned, "I thought you didn't want us here?"

"Yet another reason to not listen to a single thing I say," Sarabeth said.

"Freedom," Jack yelled jumping to his feet and startling everyone, "freedom is what's missing, I've got to get out of here I'm going insane!!!!"

"Going," Sarabeth repeated sarcastically.

Carline looked frantically at her friend, "Master Plan!"

"Wait for it, I kind of want to see how this plays out," the girl mumbled as she watched with interest while Jack began to dart around the room. However a kick in the side convinced her to set the plan in motion.

"Do you need help?" Will asked as the girl advanced toward Jack.

"Nope I've got it." Sarabeth grabbed Jack by the back of the neck then roughly threw him into a closet. She then spun round and sat in front of the door to keep it closed.

Carline glared at her friend, "THAT was the maser plan?"

"No," Sarabeth answered trying to ignore the banging and yelps of pain coming from the closet. "Go get me a string, a ladle, and my pet ferret."

Jack started to slam his fists against the door, "let me out I don't want to know what she's going to do with those!"

"You have a pet ferret?" asked Elizabeth, intrigued by the thought.

"Yeah," Carline said, "she named it Destructor."

Will turned to Sarabeth, "that's an odd name for a ferret."

"I've always been under the impression that 'Will' was an odd name for a person," Sarabeth answered, "but really, who listens to me."

"Oh she got you," Jack called.

"Shut up or we add a banana into the mix," Carline yelled back.

"Hey," Sarabeth snapped, "this is my master plan."

"Adopt, adapt, and improve," Carline quipped.

"I'm ready to get out now," Jack announced.

"I'll make that decision," Carline called.

"I just want to back to the Pearl," Jack said.

Sarabeth checked her watch and glanced at Carline. "The library closes in two hours," she observed, "do we want to try?"

"Do you honestly think we can find anything in two hours," Carline demanded.

"We can start."

"Okay."

Elizabeth looked at the girls, "So we're going home."

"Indirectly," Carline answered getting her tennis shoes on.

Will looked at Sarabeth, "So do you want us here or not."

* * *

**AN: almost done! I shold have the final chapter up befor the week is over. Sorry it took so long to get this one done, had some problems...**


	6. The Proposition

**Disclaimer: I dont own Pirates**

* * *

After almost an hour and a half after arriving at the library Jack was getting fed up.

"Why aren't I back yet," he demanded.

"Because we haven't figured out how to send you back yet," snapped Carline.

Sarabeth smiled sweetly at him, "And believe me it's not through lack of effort on our part."

Jack glared at the girl, "Right lass the sarcasm is getting old."

"I'm being sardonic," Sarabeth pointed out.

Elizabeth looked up, "It's true."

"I think this entire conversation is a little pointless," Carline observed lifting her head from the book she had been looking at and throwing it onto a pile next to her.

Will looked at the pile and frowned, "how many books are there that might have what we're looking for?"

"You see all these books," Carline asked as she gestured at the books stacked on the table, "to find what we're looking for we have to search through all of these, plus a couple thousand that we haven't pulled off the shelves yet."

Jack turned to Sarabeth, "Can you read any faster?"

She slammed the book she had been working on shut, "Oh my god Jack can you read at ALL! We've been working for an hour and a half and all you can do is sit there. I'm sorry but I can't just snap my fingers and…"

When Sarabeth had snapped her fingers for emphasis a vortex had appeared. She snapped a few more times and the vortex appeared and disappeared with each snap.

"Can we leave now?" Elizabeth asked.

"I guess so," Carline answered. "Well it's been nice knowing you but this is it."

"What are you talking about," Sarabeth laughed. "We're going with them we need to make sure they get there alright. Plus I want the pants Jack is wearing, I wouldn't have bought them if I didn't think I was going to get them when he left."

Carline rolled her eyes, "Fine." She glanced at the vortex with worry, "You're sure it can only go to the Caribbean?"

Sarabeth smiled reassuringly, "It's a vortex, how many places can it go?"

* * *

Will looked around the strange street the vortex had deposited them in, "I've got a feeling this isn't the Carribean."

"Well thanks for that," Carline shot. "Now if we're not in the Caribbean where are we?"

"Italy," Sarabeth whispered her eyes glued across the street.

Carline looked and saw the man Sarabeth was staring at and mumbled, "oh shit."

Who are you looking at?" Jack asked, a little louder than necisry.

Carline grabbed Will and Elizabeth by the arms and began to drag them toward an alley, "Keep your heads down, don't look. Sarabeth get Jack and come on."

When they reached the side street Elizabeth turned to the girls, "Who was that?"

"Hannibal Lecter," Carline explained, "a serial killer escaped from custody."

Sarabeth looked over her sholder, "I want to meet him."

"NO," Carline snapped.

* * *

"Still not the Caribbean luvs," Jack pointed out looking around.

"So where are we this time?" Sarabeth asked.

"The Paris opera house," Carline whispered "I'd know it anywhere."

Sarabeth stopped, "Wait a minute, if this is the opera house then that means that the opera ghost must be close by."

"Opera Ghost," repeated Elizabeth with worry.

"Oh it's ok," Carline told her. "He's perfectly safe."

"Tell that to the people he's killed," Sarabeth mumbled.

"Killed," demanded Will.

"It was one person," Carline insisted.

"So when I want to talk to the sociopath its bad, but when you want to it's fine?" Sarabeth asked.

"Uhh yeah!"

* * *

"So where are we now," Elizabeth asked.

The girls were to busy wandering around the defense against the dark arts class room at Hogwarts to answer.

Carline looked into one of the displays and giggled, "This is so cool."

"This is so weird," Sarabeth observed looking at the skeleton hanging over their heads.

"Can I help you," asked Profesor Lupin.

Carline smiled, "No, we're just trying to get to the Caribbean."

"We're obviously having some trouble with our goal," Sarabeth told him.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lupin observed.

"Oh so are we," Carline answered.

* * *

The group looked down at the people who were gathered around the table they had just appeared on. Will, Elizabeth, and Jack were confused but the girls knew exactly what to do, they started singing…

_Emotion, Devotion,_

_To causeing a commotion,_

_Creation, Vacation_…

They spun round and pointed to a blonde boy wearing glasses who announced in a very factual manner

_Mucho masturbation_

The girls jumped off the table and helped the pirates down before rushing out a back door into a snowy alley.

"What was that," Will asked irritation evident in his voice.

"La Vie Boheme," Carline answered, "This time everyone think about the Caribbean."

* * *

"The Pearl," Jack announced.

"We're home," Elizabeth said

"Thank god," Will mumbled.

Carline glared at Sarabeth, "Why didn't you think of that earlier?"

"Why didn't you," Sarabeth demanded.

The crew stared at the group in shock. They were unsure of wether to be relived that their captan was back or disturbed at the manner of his return.

"'Sup," Sarabeth said.

"Hiya," Carline bubbled.

"Don't listen to them they're quite mad," Jack told the crew.

Will looked around at the group, "Well I guess this is good bye."

"I guess so," Carline answered.

"We'll miss you," Elizabeth told them.

"We'll miss you too," Sarabeth sighed.

Jack looked at the girls for a moment then got an idea, "Why don't you stay here with us?"

"Stay?" Carline whispered

"Here?" Sarabeth asked.

The two girls stared at each other for a moment, then together they broke into identical smiles.

* * *

**AN: OMG I FINALLY FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Tell me what you think. And be honest!**


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